but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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