just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
