What did we do last night that was yellow?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I miss vodka workout Fridays
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
