also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
