Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
