I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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