I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Randomize
