I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
