I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize