Are we in a gay sports bar?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize