I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Holy sore nipples Batman
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
