were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
