in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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