woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
