she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Come back. Shots need mouths.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
