i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
