Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
