I must be too annoying 4 u.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Randomize
