I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
