He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize