i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
