You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
