Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize