Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
