cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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