well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
