i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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