So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
