I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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