I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
