Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
