i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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