I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
