I love black thongs
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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