I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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