so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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