did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
A+ Viking dick
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
