what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
