i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
