My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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