I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She swung at the pinata with crutches
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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