I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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