Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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