I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
