Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
