I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
