did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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