I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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