Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
