508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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