her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
