I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My ass is underappreciated
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
