): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
